On paper, having excessive compliments paid you might sound flattering, but chances are you'll either miss your participation in the hunt or feel played as if you were the TV and he were the remote. You might well lose interest completely.
But don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. See if you can save the situation. See if the man flirting with you can curb his drool long enough for reciprocated attraction. What if he's a great guy who's given in to a brief but curable siege of adolescent hormones? First, try using some self-deprecating humor. Try to find some shared human experience, so you'll be on a more even keel.
If he can laugh with you laughing at yourself, the flirtation might be salvageable. Bill, a thirty-two-year-old pumped-up advertising executive from Boston, gets aggressive "come-ons" from guys all the time, but he hasn't learned how to respond suitably to them. Even when the guy coming on to him is attractive, Bill gets embarrassed, looks away, freezes up, and acts generally annoyed. Sometimes in response to a come-on that makes him uncomfortable, Bill squeaks out a patronizingly pat "You, too!
In the future, Bill should relax and respond more playfully to a "too strong come-on" by saying something like "But you really want to know my mind, right? I like that in a man. Second, try to change the subject and get the focus of attention off you just briefly, of course.
Pick a topic, start your discourse, and find out if your new fan is interested in more than just your seventeen-inch biceps.
Why not cut to the chase and see if his infatuation can survive your cold but concise three-minute paraphrase of today's CNN headline news? This works for twenty-eight-year-old hotel manager John from Dallas, who uses the "current events" bluff tactic to distract initial conversations away from awkward, premature focus on body parts.
John says, "My way of dealing with new guys who only focus on the physical and start conversations with phrases like 'Great arms!
We know she's important to you and we're glad you have her, but we have no idea why you'd want to introduce us to her on a first meeting and turn the evening into a serious downer. Rarely has there been a more confusing time to be a man. But it has its pitfalls: Maybe you lie about how much you like to watch sports or pretend to know about whatever hipster band he is rambling about. Behold a snapshot of dating in , and how to ace it. The age-old problem.
Just because someone can be funny in text or concoct the perfect reply to your questions does not mean that you two are a match of any kind. Plus you may want to save some things to talk about just in case you run into the dreaded awkward silence. Your friends are the constant in your life. They know the parts of you that take years to learn. Or worse, what if he absolutely loves your friends and the feeling is mutual?
It is about making sure you like him enough to share a meal again before he gets you naked. Having sex too soon can cheapen a first date into nothing more than a long-winded hookup.
The boundaries of dating versus just sleeping together are easy to cross. So if you are looking for something more than his Tuesday night regular, wait a beat before hitting the sheets. This may seem like a no-brainer, but so many young gay men will often stretch the truth in order to please the handsome stranger across the table. If you do opt to discuss current events, avoid anything so controversial it will destroy potential chemistry, like Crimea, Obama's job performance, or the relevance of HBO's "Looking.
Fashions change, so know the basics: No flip-flops, no shaving, and, even if it is after Memorial Day, absolutely no white underwear. If you like the guy and want things to go well, put everything out on the table: HIV status, views on monogamy, and, for Florida residents, guns.
It's a sign of a true gentleman if you walk him to his door and he says it's too soon for you to come inside. It's also more than likely a sign that he still lives with his on-again off-again ex.
If, in the heat of the moment, you do find yourself in bed together after the date, remember to keep the foreplay going for at least 30 minutes. This allows ample time for intimate kisses, exploring each other's body, and for the Cialis to kick in. Sadly, gay men are self-centered and narcissistic, so instead of talking about your abusive childhood upbringing and triumph over Legionnaires disease, read this piece over and over and out loud until I'm so happy I wet myself. We're a match! Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.